Life goes on!!!

Well, another day is starting and all I can think about is all three of my children and my wonderful husband. Just spent time with the our Lord and now I am thinking what I can do for my husband for our anniversary. He is headed out of town for two weeks because of a class he has to take but he has to leave on Saturday so we will not be able to celebrate. It is hard to believe that 19 yrs ago we meet and on Saturday we will be married for 17 yrs. As I set here thinking about the past 17 yrs I think of things that I did wrong and things that I wish I could change.
The one thing I wish I could change the most is asking my sister to watch our two oldest sons. I was always under the impression that family is suppose to be there to help you not to hurt you but I have learned that is not what happens in my family. My two oldest sons think that I do not love or wanted them but that is so wrong. I cry every day because of what I missed out on with them and them missing out on knowing me, their dad and their little brother. No matter what they say that is hurtful I love them anyway. I know some day that they will come to talk to me but until that day happens all I can do is pray. I know they have been told that we do not care and never wanted them but we wanted them and we do care about them. I hope they know that we want them to live with us and there is always a room at our house for them. If they would like to come for a visit or to move with us they are more than welcome to do that.
There are colleges down here that they could go to and right now the Army has good jobs throughout the US and they would not have to join the military or go overseas. I only want the best for my children and I would love to help them achieve their goals and hopes. I would also love to introduce them to Our Lord and teach them what He has done for them and will continue to do for them as long as they live by His ways. Micky, Matthew and Aron I say a special prayer for you every day and night that the Lord will watch over you, protect you and guide you to live by His way. Wrap His loving arms around you and that you know that I love and miss you when you are not with me. I hope they know our arms are open always for them and they can always call, write or email and we are here for them.